Every issue will carry answers to questions posed to world leaders – answers that these leaders might have given if it were not for diplomatese, double speak and other such trivial hurdles that accompany such positions of power.

Dear President Karzai,
Operation Enduring Freedom was launched to liberate Afghanistan. What do you think of liberation?
Compassionate Neoliberal Nationalist

Dear CNN,
With due respect, don’t be a damn fool! You can’t liberate a country by bombing it to the Stone Age (as if we didn’t have enough stones here already!) Do I have to tell you that “nation-building” as you Americans call it is a time consuming, expensive process. May be if you give us serious money and allow us to spend it the way we think best – instead of dictating our lives from Washington (ok, yes, I’ll admit it, my administration has some corrupt people in it, but then so do you) – we might actually expand our nation beyond the borders of Kabul! Right now, everything outside Kabul is ruled by warlords, who treat me as an American lackey. I may be that, but I still resent the implication. Many of these wacky warlords openly admire the Taliban, which is now on the rise again. Women continue to live under the burkha (by the way, what happened to your First Lady, Laura Bush’s pledge to liberate the oppressed women of Afghanistan? We haven’t heard from her in a while. Remind her, will you, that we are still around ?) There is virtually no employment in Afghanistan and little trade. Children still keep stepping on Soviet mines and US cluster bomblets. I tell you, crippled children are a real drag on our economy! We are now pinning our hopes on expanding exports of our world-famous opium. Did you know we grow some of the best poppy in the world? And we can beat any deal in town! So, are we liberated? You tell me.

Dear President Karzai,
How did the Taliban come to power in the first place?
Rip Van Winkle

Dear RVW,
Hello, good morning, wake up and smell the coffee!. I guess you haven’t heard the news lately? That your country funded and armed the mujahideens to fight the Soviets ? No? (By the way, those Stinger hand-held rocket launchers are awesome Why don’t you tell your NRA that the constitutional “right to bear arms” must include rocket launchers too? Purely for self defense, of course) After the Soviets withdrew, there was still plenty of CIA – and Saudi – cash around. The paradoxically intelligent Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) decided it would be a good idea give a bit of religious education to those unruly mujahideens. Before you know it, there were madrassahs everywhere. They became quite the rage in the border towns of Pakistan, particularly among the young men! That was the beginning of the Taliban. Oh, did I mention the Saudis were thrilled?

Dear President Karzai,
You seem miffed that the US government has been occupied with other responsibilities around the world. Can’t you appreciate how seriously this administration takes its role of making the world a more peaceful place for all?
Not Another Idiot, Via Email

Dear NAIVE,
You obviously know best.

Dear President Karzai,
Given how you have been affected by wars, what are your views on nuclear weaponization and nuclear proliferation?
Hunting for Ammo and Nuclear Secrets

Dear Hans,
I say “nuke” that Kim in North Korea! Just a figure of speech, of course. Hey, why don’t you ask Condi or Don or Wolfie what they think – after all, they speak for me!