Every issue will carry answers to questions to world leaders on global issues – answers that might have been given if it were not for diplomatese, double speak and other such trivial hurdles that are placed with such positions of power. This issue, we carry on our imaginary dialogue with the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister

What is your position on the War on Iraq?
Really Anti War

Dear RAW,
I am not sure whether my position is of pertinence. In fact, the position of the citizens of United Kingdom on this issue may not be pertinent either. I know that tens of thousands of Londoners rallied against a unilateral war against Iraq. I know that a large percentage of citizens of UK oppose the war. However, the decision is now out of our hands. The day we decided to bootstrap our foreign policy to USA, we decided that we would follow their lead in foreign policy.

Perhaps our foreign policy is most principled. We have followed American lead on this matter consistently. After all, since the fall of the Empire, this was our only path to power – as vicarious as it may be.
TB

Dear Mr. Prime Minister
There is a significant portion of South Asians who believe that the industrial growth by Britain was powered on the backs of slavery, engineered famine, inhuman policies and oppression in South Asia. As the current leader of UK, would you care to apologize to the people of South Asia for those years of oppression?
Activist for South Asian Pride

Dear ASAP
I think my apology to the Irish has started a wave of demands for apologies. Look, I was not around when the English colonized the world. If I begin to apologize, I will have to apologize to half the world. Besides, be realistic; what would my apologies do to the problems of your region today? I think your leaders today are causing more deaths, engineering inhuman policies, continuing to hold on to a stalemate that is frankly anachronistic. Why don’t you write to them asking them to change their ways and make a difference while they can?

Yes, I could say that I will promise not to pursue any foreign policies that would result in further oppression, deaths, war, etc. However, I cannot do that for reasons elucidated in my answer to the earlier question.
TB

Dear Mr. Prime Minister
What is special about your government’s approach to South Asians?
South Asian Special

Dear SAS
Since the mid-70s, our attitude to South Asians has been abysmal. We viewed them as refugees coming to take away our resources. We placed policies that would limit their immigration. A number of rules were placed on students and workers to ensure that they were inconvenienced. USA and some of our European neighbours gained. The South Asian population has had a huge impact on the IT based economy.

Now we have learnt and hopefully it is not too late. We have relaxed our laws for students and other workers. Please come and work in our country. After all Great Britain has a past relationship and understands the people from South Asia in a special way.
TB

Dear Mr. Prime Minister
What should England do to win the Ashes?
Not So Sure Hussain

Dear NSSH
I have considered attacking Australia and making it a state of England. That way the Ashes would be won by England.
But, seriously, I think the boys have not applied themselves. We need to find batsmen who can bat. We need to find bowlers who can bowl. We need some all rounders – even those who have smoked pot are welcome. We need some healthy players.
Well, maybe I should just plan on attacking Australia.
TB